To be engulfed in it is all I want to feel.
I’ve tried to apprehend it, but to no avail.
Am I not deserving?
I probe.
I look at the woman in the mirror.
She’s wretched,
Emaciated... starving from the constant privation of pleasure
fulfillment and joy.
If only I were prettier,thinner,wealthier.
If only I had someone to love.
Then I’d be happy!
I dream a thousand “if only” dreams
and cry myself awake.
Eyes swollen.
Dreams deferred.
Continually reaching...grasping
How does one take hold of the wind?
So many times, I’ve misinterpreted happiness.
And with every disappointment
I struggle to survive.
I feel the rope tighten as I’m dragged further away from the light.
I curse this condition!
I dig my nails deeper into the earth
and fight to stay on the path to happiness.
But each minute is just like the last.
In conclusion, nothing is concluded.
I’m left unsure if I will ever experience true happiness.
